Midnight Release: Legion Review

Legion is a fused combination of familiar movies it seems. Legion takes common elements from Terminator 2, Lord of the Rings, Maximum Overdrive, and Tales from the Crypt Demon Knight. I know it sounds like a wonderful recipe for a wonderful movie. It is the same recipe that gave humankind the wonderful and glorious Turducken. Except the film makers didn’t they didn’t take anything positive from those movies. That being said, if you have ever seen one of the four movies I previously mentioned, or have the slightest bit of intuition, then Legion will seem very familiar and predictable. Every character seems familiar because they are the most basic archetypes of characters. From the main pregnant “I’m a single mother” main character to her “over emotional manly protector” to his “old slow father” play by Dennis Quaid. Which I thought was weird, because it seems like a role for Randy Quaid.

Legion starts off rather quickly and action packed. Which could be positive, and gave me high hopes that Legion would be action packed, and I could just watch explosions and gore, and be content without thinking for a short period of time. The action continues on for the first portion of Legion. Then sadly the action slows down, and the audience is blessed with what should have been plot development. Except it was filled archetypes getting to know other archetypes. Which in reality is very boring to watch, because all of these characters seem very familiar. Then the third act of Legion is more action packed and slightly more entertaining. Which doesn’t translate to being very entertaining. Now Legion fuses the action from the first act, and the “character development” of the second act. Which equates to a mild and lackluster finale.

Legion has all the elements of cheesy horror filmmaking, and yet it does not seem to embrace being a cheesy horror movie. Instead of having cheesy horror trademarks like nudity, sex, or gore. It replaces those elements with pretentious religious garbage. It’s not like nudity, sex, or gore could have saved this movie. I also fundamentally disagree with Legion on the premise that all angels have English accents. First why do the angels have to be English. It sets the precedent that the English are special in some way. Like the Queen of England actually has divine right, which is an absurd premise. I believe I heard the best description of her while walking around Toronto, “Fuck your Queen, she has the personality of a dead skunk.” Warming I know, I was very pleased that I wasn’t the only one thinking that. Which is also what the Queen of England has in common with this movie. At it’s best Legion is a laughably bad movie, sadly these moments are short lived.

I am sure that Legion will appeal to some people. I’m not sure who, but I’m certain there is some demographic that appeals to emotional over protection males, that are also creepy. Maybe people who enjoy mocking religion and religious people who hope and pray for rapture.