I may be exposing a slight inclination that there is something extremely wrong with me. For the last 48 hours I have been playing a game called Flora’s Fruit Farm. Now, I don’t want you getting the wrong idea! I didn’t go out of my way to pick up this game, but steam being sneaky as steam does best and snuck Flora’s Fruit Farm into a little game pack that I bought myself for Christmas. When I found out that the Edios Collectors game pack not only included Batman: Arkham Asylum, but was on sale for $49.99 (a whopping $212.45 off) I could not resist.

I played Tomb Raider: Legend on 360 when it first game out, the controls seemed disjointed at best. I wanted to give it another chance on PC where the game might be a little bit more streamlined. There is no way I was going to throw Lara in the Garbage after one bad experience. Laura and I, we had so many good times together on the PlayStation Entertainment System. I wasn’t letting go yet. While Tomb Raider Legend and my other more intense downloads were still marinating (that’s what they do when your top speed is 100kbs down) sheer curiosity took hold and I had to Install.

I was fascinated by Flora and her Fancy Fruit Farm. For as my most sexy male gamer friend pointed out, A game must be of the utmost caliber when the third Google result – is a Rapidshare public tracker torrent download link.

Upon launch of Flora’s Fruit Farm I had a uncomfortable jolt resonate throughout my body. Uncomfortable!!! Jenna? Jenna! You are an open minded person. Are you not the same girl who played through PF Magic’s (I mean Ubisoft’s *cough*) Catz 2 on Ps2 Earlier this year? You need to give this game a try! You owe it to your fundamental open minded libertarian values.

Flora’s Fruit Farm started out with a creepy old man approaching a cute young lady (cute in the 14 year old’s that draw anime behind you in math class sort of way) and you have to think to yourself; “Young lady, should you really be talking to strangers?” It wasn’t candy this old man was offering up, but MAGICAL GLOVES and Flora accepts them with enthusiasm (It is Flora’s Fruit Farm, Afterall).

If you’re thinking this game is anything like Harvest Moon, you’re wrong. It’s more like some kind of weird “time attack” game where you’re working against the clock. More objectives and obstacles come into play as each Chapter (sections of levels, or land – ho ho) progress. You use your whimsical magical glove magic to work each tree that you are given. You sing to it – you make it grow! This takes time, and the minutes quickly tick away on the clock. Soon your customers start to arrive. The fruits sprout instantly as you discover them, but serving up plain old fruit only gets you about $2 or so.  While “specialty fruit” fetch upwards of $12 – it’s up to you to make that fruit magical! You use your magic dust to make the fruit “Sparkle” or “Grow” and there are bonuses for both, you can also layer the special fruit attributes.

There are different types of customers and each different type of customer prefers a different type of fruit and their tips vary accordingly. Old ladies come in gaggles for your Pears, but watch out – these old ladies have tempers and they don’t like to wait. As the game goes on you learn the different quirks, preferences and temperaments of your client base. At the beginning of each  the # of each type of customer you are going to encounter in each level is disclosed. Tailor your dust levels and fruit choices for the intersection of cash payoffs/tips.

Overall I think this game has taught me a lot – Eskimos love Strawberries (which is natural because they grow in the snow) and beating animals with magical gloves is encouraged if you don’t want them to get at your sweet sweet fruity meats.

I give this game 6/10 MP. The game and soundtrack are simple and repetitive. Strangely addictive, it’ll only slightly recharge you with magical power.